As we see an increase number of foreigners (including Permanent Residents) coming to The Dating Loft, hoping to find love with the local residents, I realizes that we Singaporeans view certain races and nationalities differently with some deeply held prejudices that just won’t go away. Even though we claim to grow up in a multi-racial society, we are never able to view each with equality.

From my experiences at The Dating Loft, Here is a list of the nationalities/race and the reactions we have towards them:
1) Mainland Chinese – We have seen a surge in the number of mainland Chinese coming to work and live in Singapore. Admittedly we still receive a steady stream of inquiries from Chinese Gals who can’t speak English and whose only requirement is a “Singapore man with good income”, there is a small but growing pool of professionals who speak English and are taking the step to meet more locals to expand their social circle. Some local men have expressed apprehension in meeting them as they are afraid of them being “gold diggers” and felt that their friends and family might viewed them differently if they really get married. Well not every Mainland Chinese woman is after your moolah, just open your eyes and know them better before losing your heads (both).

2) Angmos (loosely classified as Anglo-Saxons from USA< Australia and Europe) - Desperately pursued by SPG-types, and desired by a number of local women (usually older, more cosmopolitan/"angmo pai" type) who viewed them as "more fun, more romantic, higher (expat) income, more gentlemanly...." From my experiences dealing with them, only a small percentage truly wants to settle down. They are HOT here, with women pursuing them at clubs, pubs and bars, even if they are nowhere near the likes of Brad Pitt or Jude Law. Hence they are unlikely to settle especially if they are only here for the short term. However I do have to say that some are really quite witty and intelligent and they are less picky on superficial requirements such as age and marital status.

3) Malaysian Chinese - Even though Singapore is so close to Malaysia and used to be a part of them, the vast disparity in economic development between both countries have unfortunately led to a subtle but persistent prejudice against them. Some local men (especially those of higher economic status) have subtly let on that they do not want to meet Malaysian Gals who can’t speak good English and are technical workers (such as beauticians or hairstylist) as they feel it’s a loss of face for them. Other men prefers to meet Malaysian Gals because they are deemed as “more down to earth, more gentle and less demanding than local gals”. Local women on the whole do not really want to meet Malaysian men unless they had studied abroad or have a really good job here. Well, to each your own….I have met plenty of Malaysian men and women who are successful, and there are also very gentle and family-oriented gals here.

At the end of the day, keeping an open mind is the most important thing. You really never know until you meet the person.

Can’t believe my ears too when I hear from my colleague that a couple actually met through the Hot Room Chat channel on www.getthemdates.com, chatted with each other, went out and then got together…. and then they got married! All within a few short months! And mind, the Hot Room is only officially functional for less than 3 months!

Definitely unexpected! Sharing the good news here – hope we have more of such matches! You really never know when you are going to meet someone who will set your heart afluttering.
So now promoting our Early Bird Workshop Combo! Hurry offer ending 10th may 2010!

I am happy to hear that some couples whom we had introduced  at  The Dating Loft, have unofficially toed into the “almost exclusive dating” arena. However, as with the start of most relationship, there are the uncertainties that marked the beginning – Is he or she the right one for me? What if this doesn’t work out? Beth has been “counselling” a few clients these few days on this eternal dilemma – to be or not to be (in the relationship)?

Classic case: Boy meets Girl. Both enjoyed the first date. They started going out on a regular basis, sms-ing each other daily…. After a few weeks, Boy tells Girl he likes her and would like to take the relationship a step further. Girl likes boy but is afraid that it is too soon to go into a relationship, hidden fears of making the wrong choice rears it’s head. Plus, there are other people she is still casually getting to know better….and she can’t make up her mind. Boy stops contact, Girl feels the loss and take the initiative to contact Boy for dinner. Movie is still on, conclusion is yet reached.

From my experience, girls tend to think too much and often has a lot of fears about making the wrong decision. However at the end of the day, listen to your own heart. Yes you had only know him for a few weeks, and you really don’t know him that well. But the only way you can really know someone is to start dating him. Really date him and go out with him, get to know his habits, his lifestyle, his friends, his thinking, his family…. if at the end of the day, you find that both of you are not suitable, then stop it and move on. At least you gave yourself (and him) a chance.

For guys, if you really like her, take the initative to make known your feelings and that you want to take the relationship further. DO not be afraid of scaring her off; most girls secretly admired your courage and your willingness to take the risk for her. Of course don’t go overboard with your declaration, know when to beat a graceful exit if the girl is not keen.

If you feel she is kinda interested but still undecided, give her time and room to make her own decision. If you feel she has plenty of choices and is just enjoying your attention without giving you a commitment, the best thing to do is to let her know you respect her choices, but you cannot wait forever and you will be exploring your options to meet other girls. Don’t let her take you for granted. I know someone who lavishes all his attention (and gifts) and time on a much younger girl for more than 4 years while the girl refuses to enter into a committed relationship with him. And he is still waiting….

If she values you, she will come back to you. It is the same for both sexes – do  not be afraid to lose. In losing, you can  gain your rightful love. Most tend to cling on too tightly because of  the fear of loss. Even if the relationship comes to naught, at the very least you have tried. There is always someone better.

Had some of the best bread and pastry for a long time and I ate most of it before remembering I was supposed to take a photo for the blog! Arrghhh…. The owner, Sophia, is a long time friend – I stayed with her family who took great care of me when I was studying in San Francisco years ago. It was great catching up with her! I have always remembered her as a wonderful cook and baker and the many hours of fun we had in the kitchen and restaurant.

We lost touch after I came back to Singapore, and Sophia and her family eventually did moved back to Singapore a few years ago. Hence it was no surprise that Sophia, after finishing her Le Cordon Bleu Training in Paris, decided to set up a French Patisserie here. Mirabelle (meaning “Great Beauty” in French, as well as the name of a yellow fruit favored by Sophia when she was a student in Paris) threw open it’s door six months ago in a nondescript corner along Mackenzie Road.  

I did some quick search on the Internet, and found that her croissants were touted to be the best in Singapore by many a food blogger including Chubby Hubby at www.chubbyhubby.net. And Mirabelle was also featured on 8 Days and Simply Her as a little haven of Paris right in the midst of Singapore.

Even Beth, who don’t like sweet things, wolfed down the whole Sweet Potato Bun after taking her first bite when she was supposed to share with me. Luckily I have got Sophia’s mobile and I’m going to order her croissants (and that charcoal custard bun which I wolfed down in a minute) before I dropped by again….mnm….will tomorrow be too soon?

Tip for Couples: Buy some pastries or try the famed croissants to sweeten the hearts of your loved ones!

For the past few days, the girls at The Dating Loft have been stuffing ourselves silly with the goodies we have been receiving from members! On Monday, we received chocolate biscuits from a really sweet member who went to Japan for Holiday and remembered us!

On Tuesday, a really cute member brought us almond cookies and some really yummy almond pastry from Hong Kong! It was almost totally wiped out. And yesterday, we received a BIG hamper of goodies from a member who dedicated it to Sharon! We didn’t care if it’s addressed to her, we just happily dissembled the whole package and devour the goodies. My favourite is the Almond Roca!

Thank you all for the yummy goodies. We truly appreciate it! One Great Dating Tip to be learnt: Bringing a little gift (chocolate or flowers) will brighten up your date’s day and warmed him/her to you!