Ada Muses

Co-Founder Of The Dating Loft, Ada muses on dating, match-making and love….

Top 10 Traits Men look for in a Wife

June14
Top 10 Traits Men Want In A Wife
What attracts a man to his future wife? Sociologists Christine B. Whelan at the University of Pittsburgh and Christie F. Boxer at the University of Iowa, have finally answered the oft-debated question. They analyzed the results of a 2008 survey asking men to rank attractive qualities of a potential spouse. They then compared those results to women’s answers and to similar surveys conducted throughout the 1900s. A lot has changed in just a few decades.

No. 1: Mutual Attraction and Love
Above all, men want to marry a woman they love and are attracted to. While this may seem like a given, the “love marriage” is a modern development. Men started ranking this trait at No. 1 just a couple of decades ago, in the mid-1980s. Earlier in the 20th century, dependability, emotional maturity and a pleasing disposition ranked higher than love. Now, both men and women are marrying for love first and foremost, and marriages have become unions of passion, friendship, support and mutual attraction.

No. 2: Dependable Character
Throughout the 20th century a woman’s dependable character has been a top priority for men, who ranked it at No. 1 as far back as 1939. Like women, men want a life partner who will be trustworthy, faithful and reliable. They want a wife who will stand by their side and, considering divorce rates, it’s no surprise that dependability would continue to be attractive.

No. 3: Emotional Stability and Maturity
Both men and women consistently cite emotional stability and maturity as one of the most attractive traits in a potential spouse. While men often fall victim to the stereotype of prioritizing physical attraction, when it comes to a potential wife, they want a woman who is grounded and secure in herself. Women also place maturity at No. 3 on their lists of good-husband material.

No. 4: Education and Intelligence
A woman’s education and intelligence are more attractive to men than ever before. This characteristic has been steadily climbing the ranks of men’s desires for decades, up from No. 11 in 1939. Now that women are receiving 60% of college degrees and are half of the workforce, men are looking for women who are both intelligent and educated–or in other words, more accomplished and interesting than ever.

No 5: Pleasing Disposition
Men place a potential wife’s pleasing disposition at No. 5 and have included it in their top-five traits since the 1930s. On the other hand, women in recent years are less likely to prioritize a man’s pleasing disposition. Until recently, women consistently ranked it at No. 4, but it currently appears as No. 7.

No. 6: Sociability
Both men and women rank sociability at No. 6 on their lists of mate preferences. And for both sexes, it has been steadily moving up the list from around No. 12 in 1939. Because today’s married couples are more likely to be friends and have mutual circles of friends, it makes sense that this has become a more attractive characteristic.

No. 7: Good Health
Men look for good health in a potential wife, but it is slightly less important to them today than it was in the past. In the 1930s and again in the 1970s, they ranked a woman’s health at No. 5. They are smart to rank it fairly high on their marriage-material list. Both sexes are living well into their 70s, and often older, making good health a predictor of a long-lasting.

No. 8: Good Looks
Women’s looks have become increasingly important to men over the years. The trait has jumped up seven spots, from No. 15 in 1956. (Looks did not make the top 10 list of what women want in a husband, but it has become more important to them over time too–jumping from No. 18 to No. 12). Perhaps because modern marriages are more likely based on love and attraction rather than practicalities (like wealth or status), physical attractiveness is more desirable.

No. 9: Desire for Home and Children
A woman’s desire for home and children has become less attractive to men over time. In 1939, men ranked it at No. 6. As women have increasingly achieved similar levels of education and career status, men may have begun to perceive them as more equal partners. How to divide the labor of home and work isn’t as obvious as it was to their grandparents’ generation.

No. 10: Ambition and Industriousness
Despite the pervasive stereotype that men are intimidated by ambitious women, men rank this trait ahead of others like refinement, being a good cook and having similar religious backgrounds. While it’s not high on their list (No. 10 out of 18), it is clear that men find a woman’s drive, determination and energy attractive qualities in a life partner.

Full article at: http://www.forbes.com/2010/05/26/what-men-want-in-a-wife-forbes-woman-well-being-marriage_slide.html

What strikes me is the amount of SIMILARITY among the sexes, on what we are all looking for in our future partners…. The top 3 important qualities for BOTH men women are the SAME, namely:

*Mutual Attraction and Love

*Dependable Character

*Emotional Stability and Maturity

Thus, Be the Right One to Attract the Right One. Being The Right  Person (having the right character and values) = Being The Right Husband/Wife = Being The Right Parent and having The Right Kids.
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Mathematical Proof of What I wrote on dating in Singapore?

October26

Received a hilarious email from a  friend of mine who read my previous post  “Ask for the Sky, Be the Cloud first”. Being the cool, rational INTJ he is, he decided to see if what I wrote makes sense…. Here is what he emailed me:

As you know, a cold and emotionless man of hard science like me who is devoid of feelings would only be convinced by numbers… So I pulled out the recent Singapore census and some related data.. did some crunching and came up with a shocking figure (assuming my numbers didn’t mess up)…

Assuming that I target a single Chinese female who falls betweeen 25 – 34 who are in broad selected religious groups and have a degree, I am down to only about 26,000 ladies. This is not even counting those who may be attached. So the real number that I could be looking at may be 10,000?? And of which maybe less than half will think I don’t act funny or think I look ugly???

 

For the fun of it, I thought I share the excel file and the data with you.

 

So there u have it, statistical proof that I need to be a Cloud first before I can ask for the Sky… It’s crazy but TRUE!”

Singapore (June 2009) (in ’000)  
Total Population 4,988  
Total Resident Population 3,734  
       
Sex Composition of Residents  
Males   1,845 49.4%
Females   1,889 50.6%
       
Age Profile      
  25-34 572 15.3%
  35-44 630 16.9%
  45-54 620 16.6%
       
Ethnic Composition (Residents)  
Chinese     74.20%
Malays     13.40%
Indians     9.20%

Chinese Females who are 25 – 34 5.75%   214.5

Single      
       
Males      
25-29     75%
30-34     35%
35-39     19%

Females      
25-29     52%
30-34     23%
35-39     15%

Single Chinese Females who are 25 – 34 4.3%   160.9

Religion      
Buddhism     42.5%
Islam     14.9%
No Religion   14.8%
Christianity   14.6%
Taoism     8.5%
Hinduism     4.0%
Others     0.6%

Buddhism+No Religion+Christian+Taoism 80%

Single Chinese Females who are 25 – 34 (in religion bracket) 3.5%   129.4

Height Requirement   100%
Handsome or Pretty   100%
Monthly Income Requirement 100%
Chemistry/Connection with you 100%
Finally, how many of such Singles are unattached 100%

Total Number that fit your above criteria:  25874

I did the stats study for the fun of it lah. It was also to provide mathematical proof of what you wrote. So yes, I joke that I should target blondes and Mainland Chinese now (larger population base to begin with!).. but the findings reinforces the moral of the story that local singles should not be too choosy. Whilst I joke about it, I did share the findings with my attached friends… telling them how lucky they are to be attached to such an eligible guy or gal… :) ” – reproduced with permission.

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Tips for Dating Celebrity Foyce Le Xuan

October10

foyceI first came to know Foyce nearly two years ago, at a photographer friend’s house party. She is pretty, girly and friendly. Although we exchanged contacts, we didn’t really keep in contact. I then found out she was quite a popular model and she often flies to Taiwan and Hongkong for shoots.

When we needed a celebrity Single (who is not signed on to Mediacorp) for The Bedazzled Dating Fiesta earlier this year (www.thebedazzled.com), I thought of her and decided to give her a call despite not being in contact much. To my surprise, she was very open-minded and met up with me for coffee at TCC to hear more about this dating fiesta. And this is how The Dating Loft became her match-maker!

My subsequent contacts with her affirmed that she is a very very sweet, good natured and down to earth girl! And yet she faces the same age-old issue as so many other eligible singles: she hardly meets eligible guys outside of her work circle! And as an artiste, it also means she probably has to work on weekends or weekday evenings not just for shoots, but attending sponsors’ events, media activities etc….

Recently she has finished recording a combined album with other singers. Foyce has a really sweet and amazing voice and she had been doing lots of vocal training in preparation for the song recordings. It should be released soon, All the best Foyce! And she is quite the entrepreneur as well, opening her very own Hair Salon in Orchard very soon! Check this space for more updates….

If you would like to know her better, check out http://thedatingloft.com/tdl/?page_id=604

adafoyce

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Finalists of The Bedazzled Dating Fiesta: Love in a time of recession

March3

2275
www.thebedazzled.com

NEVER MIND the recession. Singaporeans do have love on their minds.

That is why even though the 10 contenders for the Most Bedazzling Singles competition held on Saturday are good-lookers in their own right, they all hope to meet that special someone.

The competition – part of week-long mega dating fiesta Bedazzled: Dating in Style (9-16 Feb) – was organised by dating agencies The Dating Loft and Lunch Actually.

Take one of the contenders, doe-eyed beauty Aarthi Sankar, 22, a National University of Singapore (NUS) undergraduate who has been single for the past two years. She feels it makes perfect sense for people to look for love during the downturn.

She said: “Regardless of the downturn, if you work so hard that you have no time for romance, you’ll start to realise something is missing.

“I see such (dating) events as a good way to network and meet more people.”

She’s open to joining more such events, such as “group outings or mass dinners, where I can meet other like-minded people, as long as it’s not a blind date”.

No 1 tips for Singles: Keep an open mind and join more social activities to enhance your chances of meeting the right people!
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