Ada Muses

Co-Founder Of The Dating Loft, Ada muses on dating, match-making and love….

Top 10 Traits Men look for in a Wife

June14
Top 10 Traits Men Want In A Wife
What attracts a man to his future wife? Sociologists Christine B. Whelan at the University of Pittsburgh and Christie F. Boxer at the University of Iowa, have finally answered the oft-debated question. They analyzed the results of a 2008 survey asking men to rank attractive qualities of a potential spouse. They then compared those results to women’s answers and to similar surveys conducted throughout the 1900s. A lot has changed in just a few decades.

No. 1: Mutual Attraction and Love
Above all, men want to marry a woman they love and are attracted to. While this may seem like a given, the “love marriage” is a modern development. Men started ranking this trait at No. 1 just a couple of decades ago, in the mid-1980s. Earlier in the 20th century, dependability, emotional maturity and a pleasing disposition ranked higher than love. Now, both men and women are marrying for love first and foremost, and marriages have become unions of passion, friendship, support and mutual attraction.

No. 2: Dependable Character
Throughout the 20th century a woman’s dependable character has been a top priority for men, who ranked it at No. 1 as far back as 1939. Like women, men want a life partner who will be trustworthy, faithful and reliable. They want a wife who will stand by their side and, considering divorce rates, it’s no surprise that dependability would continue to be attractive.

No. 3: Emotional Stability and Maturity
Both men and women consistently cite emotional stability and maturity as one of the most attractive traits in a potential spouse. While men often fall victim to the stereotype of prioritizing physical attraction, when it comes to a potential wife, they want a woman who is grounded and secure in herself. Women also place maturity at No. 3 on their lists of good-husband material.

No. 4: Education and Intelligence
A woman’s education and intelligence are more attractive to men than ever before. This characteristic has been steadily climbing the ranks of men’s desires for decades, up from No. 11 in 1939. Now that women are receiving 60% of college degrees and are half of the workforce, men are looking for women who are both intelligent and educated–or in other words, more accomplished and interesting than ever.

No 5: Pleasing Disposition
Men place a potential wife’s pleasing disposition at No. 5 and have included it in their top-five traits since the 1930s. On the other hand, women in recent years are less likely to prioritize a man’s pleasing disposition. Until recently, women consistently ranked it at No. 4, but it currently appears as No. 7.

No. 6: Sociability
Both men and women rank sociability at No. 6 on their lists of mate preferences. And for both sexes, it has been steadily moving up the list from around No. 12 in 1939. Because today’s married couples are more likely to be friends and have mutual circles of friends, it makes sense that this has become a more attractive characteristic.

No. 7: Good Health
Men look for good health in a potential wife, but it is slightly less important to them today than it was in the past. In the 1930s and again in the 1970s, they ranked a woman’s health at No. 5. They are smart to rank it fairly high on their marriage-material list. Both sexes are living well into their 70s, and often older, making good health a predictor of a long-lasting.

No. 8: Good Looks
Women’s looks have become increasingly important to men over the years. The trait has jumped up seven spots, from No. 15 in 1956. (Looks did not make the top 10 list of what women want in a husband, but it has become more important to them over time too–jumping from No. 18 to No. 12). Perhaps because modern marriages are more likely based on love and attraction rather than practicalities (like wealth or status), physical attractiveness is more desirable.

No. 9: Desire for Home and Children
A woman’s desire for home and children has become less attractive to men over time. In 1939, men ranked it at No. 6. As women have increasingly achieved similar levels of education and career status, men may have begun to perceive them as more equal partners. How to divide the labor of home and work isn’t as obvious as it was to their grandparents’ generation.

No. 10: Ambition and Industriousness
Despite the pervasive stereotype that men are intimidated by ambitious women, men rank this trait ahead of others like refinement, being a good cook and having similar religious backgrounds. While it’s not high on their list (No. 10 out of 18), it is clear that men find a woman’s drive, determination and energy attractive qualities in a life partner.

Full article at: http://www.forbes.com/2010/05/26/what-men-want-in-a-wife-forbes-woman-well-being-marriage_slide.html

What strikes me is the amount of SIMILARITY among the sexes, on what we are all looking for in our future partners…. The top 3 important qualities for BOTH men women are the SAME, namely:

*Mutual Attraction and Love

*Dependable Character

*Emotional Stability and Maturity

Thus, Be the Right One to Attract the Right One. Being The Right  Person (having the right character and values) = Being The Right Husband/Wife = Being The Right Parent and having The Right Kids.
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Sometimes it’s just fate! A couple got married through HotRoom!

May5

Can’t believe my ears too when I hear from my colleague that a couple actually met through the Hot Room Chat channel on www.getthemdates.com, chatted with each other, went out and then got together…. and then they got married! All within a few short months! And mind, the Hot Room is only officially functional for less than 3 months!

Definitely unexpected! Sharing the good news here – hope we have more of such matches! You really never know when you are going to meet someone who will set your heart afluttering.
So now promoting our Early Bird Workshop Combo! Hurry offer ending 10th may 2010!

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How Dateable Are You – take the challenge NOW!

April28

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We have recently launched a new quiz at The Dating Loft website, titled “How Dateable Are You?” and I’m quite proud of it! Before we launch it, I have sent this to my colleagues as well as a few friends to trial test it and most of the feedback was “It’s quite accurate! how did you know?” =)
So How Dateable Are You? Are you the type to be never lack of a date invite, always out on some activity or another? Or are your weekends filled with too many hours of TV watching and Net surfing?
A mirror to ourselves helped us to see our blind spots which we might otherwise conveniently ignore or pretend it’s non existent.
Have Fun!
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Celebrating the launch of www.getthemdates.com! A new concept in online dating and tips!

October15

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Calling all concerned parents, colleagues, bosses, brothers, sisters, aunties and friends! GETTHEMDATES is a brand new concept in match making, empowering the individual to match your friends – for FREE!!

We are creating a community of matchmakers, to recapture the lost culture of communal match making and providing a platform for concerned parents, friends, siblings, colleagues and relatives to play an active role in referring and match making their loved single ones.

As part of the village of cupids, we can swap matchmaking tips, exchange stories, match profiles and update each other of the latest dating news!

 Leveraging on the power of community match-making and referrals, it combines the discreetness of meeting singles at your own convenience and time while enjoying the security and *verification that is usually offered only under personalized dating.

Gethemdates combines the best of online and offline dating worlds – you get to put up a profile of yourself or your single friends for free, you can search for matches using our proprietary matching system for yourself or for your friends, you rate the matches and indicate your interest level for the matches. If there is a mutual match, Ella our match-maker will call you for a  complimentary dating profile and make the arrangements for both of you to meet up!

For more information, kindly visit www.getthemdates.com to find out more on how you can become a cupid or a single!

*Verification refers to the process which our getthemdates Hot members went through; their marital status have to be verified through the Registry of Marriage and their particulars checked and during a face to face personalized profiling session by our dating consultant.

*Dates arranged by Ella are only for Getthemdates Hot members who have signed up for a membership. Terms and conditions applied.

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Dating trivia: The Science of Attraction!

September10

Poets have swooned over it since the invention of the written word; singers started crooning about it even before that time…. Love as we know it, however, remains an intangible feeling. No definitive method exists to calculate or predict to whom we will be attracted. For the most part, attraction remains an unsolved mystery–until in recent years. =)

DO you want to know WHY are we attracted to certain people? And why certain people are DEEMED to be ATTRACTIVE? How did Attraction occurs? Any tips for those in love?

Scientists tells us that “Judging beauty is looking at another person and figuring out whether you want your children to carry their genes” =) Mnm…It seems that the scientific properties of attraction can be explained by the simple will to produce viable offspring, also know as healthy kids…or can it?

Oone begins to wonder how, and on what level one can judge the fitness of another person. Certainly, a person smitten for the first time at a bar doesn’t ask for a genetic sequence and specifics about that special someone’s immune system before approaching him or her….=P

The scentists have also identified that some of that information is received and interpreted at a sub-conscious level. The study of attraction has so far identified two main ways in which fitness information can be encoded from one person to another: pheromones and body form.
Pheromones (chemically-secreted, odorless, airborne molecules) can trigger large sexual responses in animals. =P And much research has been done on this aspect…conclusion is humans do use pheromones as signals…we tend to be attracted to people with a more different genetic make-up than us, thus making the likelihood of creating a genetically diverse and healthy offspring.

Many scientists believe that body form, especially symmetry, conveys a sub-conscious message of fitness and initiates attraction.

Studies of symmetry in humans have also shown that men especially are more attracted to women with symmetrical features. (One hypothesis suggests that women are not as concerned with symmetry because instead of breeding, they look for a mate that can provide food and protection for their offspring, i.e., money and power for humans =P)

Besides symmetry, there are other subtle clues to fitness in the human body. Society has often propelled the “hour-glass figure” as a model for all women to strive for, and seemingly this obvious attracting trait has a biological basis.

Studies have shown that men are most attracted to women with a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.7. The specific 0.7 ratio suggests a woman’s fitness and ability to bear children (younger girls lack the curves while older women tend to develop more fat around their waist)…and its over a range of weights…=P so it doesn’t mean you have to starve yourself to look like a twig in order to be deemed attractive..=P kekekeke

But of course we must always take into consideration the role of free will in attraction. I think that pheromones and body form probably only get the proverbial foot in the door; from there, the course of the relationship is controlled by many other factors, both conscious and sub-conscious.

But the question remains, why are we so fascinated with the science of attraction ( i know i am =P)? Perhaps we are tantalized by the idea of being able to quantify a previously mysterious subject. The idea of identifying love by free-floating molecules and symmetrical features is a radical, if not a scary, way of understanding one of the greatest human mysteries….Others may simply be looking for a date….=P
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