Ada Muses

Co-Founder Of The Dating Loft, Ada muses on dating, match-making and love….

Top 10 Traits Women Want In A Husband

June10

What do women want? Sociologists Christine B. Whelan at the University of Pittsburgh and Christie F. Boxer at the University of Iowa have answered the age-old question…
Full story at: http://www.forbes.com/2010/05/26/what-do-women-want-in-husband-forbes-woman-well-being-marriage_slide_2.html

No. 10: A Good Financial Prospect
Interestingly, modern women rank a man’s financial potential as more desirable than they have in the past. In 1939 women ranked it lower on the list, at No. 13. It still comes in after items like love and maturity, but perhaps today’s women realize that a good economic partner is good husband material

Health has been an important characteristic for women through the 20th century and remains so today. One might argue that because we’re living even longer, health plays a huge role in the success of a marriage.

No. 9: Good Health

No. 8: Ambition and Industriousness
Ambition has become less important to women over time, though it still makes their top 10 checklist. It may be that because more women are thriving in the workforce, they want a husband who has earning power but aren’t looking for him to be the sole provider. In 1939 women ranked ambition at No. 3, and it was No. 4 in 1956.

No. 7: Pleasing Disposition
Surprisingly, a man’s likability does not rank as high on women’s list of wants as it used to. Until recently, women consistently ranked it at No. 4. Perhaps women are now more willing to accept a man for who he his, despite the inevitable mood swings.

No. 6: Sociability
Both men and women rank sociability at No. 6 on their marriage-material list. And for both sexes, it has been steadily moving up the list from around No. 12 in 1939. The rise of the “love marriage,” a partnership based on attraction rather than practicalities (like wealth or status) might mean that married couples are more likely to be friends and have mutual circles of friends.

No. 5: Education and Intelligence
Women have ranked education and intelligence at No. 5 since 1977, making it one of their most desirable male traits for 30 years. This timeline coincides with more and more women receiving college educations themselves. Once education became important in women’s lives, it became a more attractive trait in potential husbands.

No. 4: Desire for Home and Children
Today, women are much more attracted to men who are interested in home and family than they ever have been. In 1977 they ranked this characteristic at No. 10. Because most women today are expecting to be in dual-earner relationships, they want husbands who will be happy and willing to contribute at home. More women today even report that they hope he will take the lead at home.

No. 3: Emotional Stability and Maturity
This has consistently ranked in women’s top three throughout the 20th century. Men, too, place a heavy emphasis on a potential wife’s emotional maturity, signaling that it’s a key quality for a stable partnership. Women seem to look past appearance to the heart of the matter

No. 2: Dependable Character
Women want a husband that they can count on, and this hasn’t changed in recent years. Yes, women look to their spouse to be a lover and friend, but they also want him to be supportive and trustworthy. They want to know that he will be there and will be loyal. Men, too, rank dependable character high on their lists, at No. 2.

No. 1: Mutual Attraction and Love
The highest-rated characteristic women seek from men is mutual attraction and love. They no longer look for a man who will provide for them; they want to be in love. In 1939, when women had no job prospects and needed to marry, they ranked love at No. 5.

So men, have you figured out how to get the woman that you want?
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Treat your Dating Consultant well – tips from the insiders

February25

I suddenly have this inspiration to write a post on how to maximise your dating journey after you have signed up with a dating agency, and tips that we, Dating Consultants, could not really tell the members upfront.  The truth is, we are humans after all and just like that nice server who would bring you extra servings at your favourite restaurant because you always smiled at him and was ever so polite, we would also go the extra mile for you….if you could just SMILE.

Honestly, we always start with the best intentions. On paper, we are supposed to treat each and every member the same; serve all with equal amount of attention, consistency and quality of matches. In reality, this continues to be a Vision that we will always strive for.

While I love many of my members for their appreciation, warmth and genuinity, many others have caused us to tear our hair up on more than one occasion. Here are the tips from the insiders – what your dating consultant will not tell you but feverishly hope you will know.

1) Treat your Dating Consultant with courtesy and decency. Basic rules of courtesy applies all the time. Do not raise your voice or spew vulgarities.  Don’t hang up on us before we have finished our conversation or be plain rude. We are not your slaves but we want to serve. 

2) Do not call every other day to enquire on your next date, when you have just went on one. We asured you we will not forget about you, and we will give you a call when we have the right match. Calling us all the time does not really translate into better matches for you, and only leaves us with the impression that you are very needy.

3) Do not bitch about your Dating Consultant or your agency when you go on dates. Many have not realised that doing so will leave their dates with a negative perception of them being whiny, non-appreciative and  complainy. Do not bite the hand that feeds you. If you have anything to bring up, go to the consultant and agency directly to resolve.

4) Do not insist on going to ONLY certain restaurants, especially if you are NOT the one paying for dinner. You can give suggestions on the type and kind of place you would like to go. But insistence leaves an impression that you are exacting and a control freak. Leave it to the middleman, your consultant, to arrange a place where both can be comfortable.

5) Do not change your dates at the very last minute.Noone likes to be stood up. After all that anticipation, being told last minute that your date can’t make it is such a letdown! Plus, this translates into additional work for your consultant who will need to reschedule the date, change the reservation and resent out the confirmations…. Yes this is what we are supposed to do, but hey, who would mind less for more?

6) Do try to call back when you said you would. We know you are busy, but it can be very frustrating when we emailed you, called you, sms-ed you….and there is no reply. And when you are available, you call us once and we couldn’t pick up the call, we are deemed as providing bad service. Work with us, let us know your schedule because we really want to make this work for you.

7) We are not perfect and we make mistakes sometimes. We truly seek your understanding and hope that you remain open-minded. Do not give up after just one date or event or use that as a gauge for future matches. Let your consultant know when things go wrong or right for you. Your appreciation really does wonders in encouraging your dating consultant to try her best for you.

8) Everyone’s dating journey is unique. Do not compare or jump to a conclusion because you have heard from someone’s friend or colleague that the dating is going to be of a certain way. It is very demoralising for your consultant who is trying her best to help you, and on the other hand you are letting what you had hearsay color your experiences.

 At the end of the day, stay in open communication with your Dating Consultant. Respect her, Trust in her and give her the space to do her best for you. Appreciate her for what she has done and remind her of what is lacking. And trust me, when you do all that, the probability of you achieving your dating goals will significantly increased.
Happy Member = Happy Consultant = Happy Matches = Happy Ending! =) The Best Tip of All: Love yourself and others!
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