1st Date Cheat Code for MEN: Never tell a girl where you’re going or how to
dress. Instead, tell her to “dress for a first date with a guy she really likes”.

Now, pick three places you’d like to go: someplace fun and active (bowling,
pool, mini golf, go-kart racing, ballgame, etc), something romantic and classy (nice restaurant, upscale lounge, art gallery opening) and something in between (nice bar, coffee shop, comedy club).

Now, when you pick her up, let the way she’s dressed decide which you’re going to do: If she’s wearing something sexy and revealing (dress, high heels, low cut top, etc.)
than she wants to go somewhere classy and romantic. If she’s sporting some jeans, tennis shoes or flip-flops, and a tee, the bowling ally or pool hall may be a good bet. If she’s wearing jeans, high heeled boots, and nice top or blouse, than she’s not really jonesing for the super romance treatment,
and she put in more effort than mini golf deserves (eighteen holes of mini
golf in heels… seriously?), so a comedy club or some place with live music is a good choice.

And never, EVER, do a movie on the first date!

Men: You’re going to wear a pair of CLEAN, NEAT jeans, a pressed stylish LONG
sleeve button down shirt, nice shoes or boots (try to avoid tennis shoes of
sneakers). Works for ANY occasion!

Upon recommendation from a dear friend, I picked up a copy of Sherry Argov’s “Why Men Marry Bitches”, and enjoyed reading it! It is definitely entertaining and light but most importantly, it does throw some insights into the dating and relationship game for the average female. Some of the brutally honest and not-so-easy-to-swallow obervations compiled from the hundreds of men the author interviewed, made us want to cry and laugh at the same time!

The author uses BITCH in a tongue-in-cheek way, and does not take itself too seriously. SHe describes the book as “a relationship guide for women who are too nice”. She describes BITCH as  “Strong and kind. She has a strength that is so subtle. She doesn’t give up her life, and she won’t chase a man. She won’t let a man think he has a 100% hold over her. And she’ll stand up for herself when he steps over the line. She knows what she wants but won’t compromise herself to get it. But she’s feminine, like a “steel magnolia” – flowery on the outside and steel on the inside. She uses this femininity to her own advantage. It isn’t that she is takes undue of men, because she plays fair. She has one thing the nice girl doesn’t: presence of mind because she isn’t swept away by a romantic fantasy….In addition, she has the ability to remain cool under pressure. When a woman who is too nice gives and gives until she’s depleted, the woman with the presence of mind knows when to pull back.”

Sounds good right? I was thinking to myself that I do not want to be nice, and I want to be a BITCH! And I called my fiance last night. The conversation goes like this:

Me: Dear, do men love bitches?

My fiance: I guess they do.

Me: So do you prefer predictability or unpredictability?

My fiance: Unpredictability of course!

Me: Ok, let me rephrase that. Do you prefer that I am predictable or unpredicatable?

My fiance (immediately): Predictable!

*faint!*

This is MEN. They want the cake and eat it too! (Just like women! =P)

Came across a fun and flirty article on msn on:

Flirting techniques every man should know

Hot date on the horizon? Planning a night on the pull? Or just fancy your chances with the blonde in Bought Ledger? Well, we’ve got a few suggestions on how you can maximise your chances. All you have to do is master these 10 crafty flirting techniques.

Flirt with your follicles
Women might complain about ‘pash rash’ but they still can’t resist a bit of stubble on a man. No, they literally can’t resist. That’s because a susceptibility to stubble has been pre-programmed into the female brain by Mother Nature herself in order to identify fertile males.

“The higher a man’s testosterone level the faster his stubble growth and that acts as a strong visual badge of masculinity,” says body language expert Allan Pease, who reckons the optimum length for attracting women is three days-worth of growth. Bad news for razor manufacturers, perhaps, but great news for you.

Scare the daylights out of her
Let’s face it, caution and safety have never been sexy. Danger and spontaneity, on the other hand, are powerful aphrodisiacs. And there’s a scientific reason why attraction and danger are linked.

Studies have shown that fear is more likely to bond people than laughter because the accompanying release of stress hormones triggers an instinct to grab hold of the nearest person for the sake of safety. Take her to a nice slasher flick for your first date and that nearest person is going to be you.

Smile like you mean it
According to a study by the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry, 88% of women remember a man with an attractive smile. But there’s a big difference between flirtatious and lecherous.

The most effective smiles come from within so think of a genuinely pleasant moment in your life as an ‘inner prompt’ and flash both sets of teeth to show you’re genuine. Some subtle licking or biting of the lips works wonders too since women recognise these as a classic flirting techniques. Subtle is the key word though – you don’t want her to think you get all your flirting tips from Twilight.

Spray to play
Fragrance has long been a useful weapon in a man’s flirting armoury and with good reason. Not only has a study by the famous Kinsey Institute revealed that women who sniff a male fragrance while fantasising about an erotic experience become more sexually aroused, our sense of smell is handled by the same part of the brain associated with basic instincts – including sexual desire.

If you want to make sure fragrance really hits the spot with her go for ones like Thierry Mugler’s A*Men or Chanel’s Allure Homme Edition Blanche which contain vanilla – a recent survey showed it to be one of women’s favourite smells.

Never appear too interested
Locking eyes and smiling is clearly the most obvious sign you’re interested in a woman but never over do it. “With the flirtatious smile, the flirter should briefly show enjoyment, gaze away, then back,” advises Daniel McNeill, author of The Face: A Guided Tour.

Looking away isn’t just an effective tease, it’s also a powerful flirting technique because it sends out a conflicting signals, forcing the object of your affection to look closer at you to get reassurance that you’re actually interested.

Be creative
Notorious womanisers, whether Burton or Byron, weren’t popular with the ladies purely because of their good looks – their creativity played a part too.

When a team from Newcastle University in the UK explored why some men were more of a hit with women than others they discovered a link between creativity and sexual success. Artists and poets came top of the list, with up to three times more partners than non-creative types. So when she asks what you do in your spare time you’re a poet, right? Or play double bass in a jazz quintet. Or paint erotic nudes.

Tease with type
With a survey by the UK’s Flirting Academy showing that eight out of 10 women love flirting at work, knowing how to attract attention through email is useful skill to have.

“Many men treat email totally differently than conversation and become incredibly formal or brusque,” says Marc Katz, one of America’s leading dating coaches. “Instead, write as you’d speak, show your personality and make sure you ask lots of open ended questions so she has to reply. Never ask questions that she can merely reply ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to.” Cutting and pasting her name into the opening line of the email is clearly a very bad idea.

Play the game
Ok, here’s a fact: women are miles better at reading body language than men. In fact, research by psychologists at Harvard University in the US has shown that women are able to read body language correctly 87% of the time compared to just 42% for men.

So why not play to the gallery and consciously send out the right signals? When men are flirting we preen ourselves, stand erect to increase our height, put our thumbs in our belt with fingers pointing at our crotch and stand with our legs open and with our feet pointed at the object of affection. Throw these into your flirting and she’ll soon get the message. In fact she’d have to be blind not to.

Use your ears
“Listening is an underestimated quality when it comes to flirting,” says Marc Katz, one of America’s leading dating coaches. “If you listen and ask questions while flirting it makes a person feel important and shows that you’re genuinely interested in them – and there’s nothing more flattering.”

Admittedly, this may take some practice on your part – especially if all she wants to talk about is the latest Sex and The City film – but is worth a go. Don’t overdo it though, you’re not interviewing her for a job as your cleaner.

Don’t be too tidy
Women might be attracted to a well-groomed man (it shows you’re capable of looking after yourself and by implication other people including her too) but it doesn’t always pay to be too well presented.

In fact, a little untidiness can positively work to your advantage, especially as women can’t resist tidying men up. This is why some flirting coaches suggest wearing a tie and leaving it slightly crooked – the idea being that women simply won’t be able to resist straightening it. And once she has her hands on you half the battle is won. =)

Been in Hangzhou for the past few days, and I terribly missed the following things (apart from my loved ones):
1) Facebook
2) Facebook
3) Facebook

In terms of the dating culture here, online chatting seems to be a very popular venue for the young people here (in their 20s) to meet new friends. They tend to marry at a younger age, most of the newly-wedded couples I meet are only in their mid twenties, with the majority of them perferring to have kids later. Most of them are the only child in the family, hence if a 独女 (Only Girl)，独子 (Only Biy) marry, they can have two kids instead of one. However, many of them whom I have spoken to, says one kid is more than enough as the economic costs of bringing them is very high….

Dating programs seem to be very popular here, the most peopular dating program is called “非城无扰”, which is derived from a movie which starred Ge You (a popular China actor) and Shu Qi, filmed in Hangzhou. This phrase literally means: “if you are not sincere (in knowing me), then please do not disturb me”, referring to a self description in a personal ad placed by Ge You in the movie.

Single men and women flocked to join dating programs such as 非城无扰, which has sprawned copycats all over China. I was pretty ticked to find out that one of Eeping’s friend in Hangzhou recently went on one, where he self introduced himself and was evaluated by 18 girls on TV! He did have a match eventually, but the girl went off to Hong Kong after that….

Will Singapore ever have a program such as 非城无扰? =P I really doubt it because the singles here preferred to be perceived as coolly single rather than exhibiting any enthusiasm in seeking a life partner. i think it will kill us to laid bare our hopes and expectations in front of  national  TV and having a group of men/women critiquing us.