Ada Muses

Co-Founder Of The Dating Loft, Ada muses on dating, match-making and love….

Number 1 Tip for Love and Happiness: The ability to Forget


The ability to forget is as important as a good memory. Being able to tell what for which, ah, that’s the key.” – Malcolm Forbes.

Recently read some very interesting quotes on the topic of memory in Forbes Asia. When I read the above quote, my eyes lit up. I grinned. I finally have a convincing quip for my infamous lapses of memory. Some things slip my mind easily, while I have often console myself that it’s because the thing is not important that’s why I don’t remember it. Right. Try telling yourself that when you stare at a whole pot of black mush in dismay because you forgot to turn off the stove or you turn up at the wrong place for the wrong appointment because you forgot.

On the other side of the coin, I don’t bear grudges because I really do not remember much of why I was angry or why the quarrel started in the first place. I have known people who kept an internal scorecard against everyone – all that is being said or done or gave or received, so that they can even the score exactly. For instance, I have heard of an acquaintance who keeps tab of who responded to her invitations to her baby girls’ shower and who gave what gifts. And if you are the few who promised to turn up and didn’t, you will be ‘placed’ on her blacklist and she will always remember what you didn’t do.

Likewise in my interactions with the singles, I have observed that many seems to be single because they have not ‘forgotten’. Forgotten about past loves, past hurt, past guilt, past whatever. Take away all the convenient excuses of “too busy with career”, “no time” or “haven’t found the right one”, and a common thread exists:  A lady was single for 10 years after she was dumped by her first love, seemingly always meeting the wrong men and thus giving herself reasons not to go into another relationship. Another wasted 6 years in singleland, protecting herself with a shield that no man in his right mind would attempt to cross – tomboy dressing and an icy exterior.

I think when one truly forgotten, then one can live again. The Jewish writer, Sholem Asch wrote, “Not the power to remember, but it’s very opposite, the power to forget, is a necessary condition for our existence.”
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Life’s Tips:Myer-Briggs Type Indicator! I’m a Idealist Champion!

Your Type is



Extraverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving
Strength of the preferences %
11 25 62 11

I received this result when I tried the free online assessment at

Like the other Idealists, Champions are rather rare, say two or three percent of the population, but even more than the others they consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life. Champions have a wide range and variety of emotions, and a great passion for novelty. They see life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil, and they want to experience all the meaningful events and fascinating people in the world. The most outgoing of the Idealists, Champions often can’t wait to tell others of their extraordinary experiences. Champions can be tireless in talking with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out. And usually this is not simple storytelling; Champions often speak (or write) in the hope of revealing some truth about human experience, or of motivating others with their powerful convictions. Their strong drive to speak out on issues and events, along with their boundless enthusiasm and natural talent with language, makes them the most vivacious and inspiring of all the types.

Fiercely individualistic, Champions strive toward a kind of personal authenticity, and this intention always to be themselves is usually quite attractive to others. At the same time, Champions have outstanding intuitive powers and can tell what is going on inside of others, reading hidden emotions and giving special significance to words or actions. In fact, Champions are constantly scanning the social environment, and no intriguing character or silent motive is likely to escape their attention. Far more than the other Idealists, Champions are keen and probing observers of the people around them, and are capable of intense concentration on another individual. Their attention is rarely passive or casual. On the contrary, Champions tend to be extra sensitive and alert, always ready for emergencies, always on the lookout for what’s possible.

Champions are good with people and usually have a wide range of personal relationships. They are warm and full of energy with their friends. They are likable and at ease with colleagues, and handle their employees or students with great skill. They are good in public and on the telephone, and are so spontaneous and dramatic that others love to be in their company. Champions are positive, exuberant people, and often their confidence in the goodness of life and of human nature makes good things happen.

This does sounds like me =P This MBIT test is not about pigeon-hole-ing people, only suggesting a person’s disposition towards a certain way of processing/receiving information and knowledge and the way we prefer to do things…

#Tip: This has major implications for relationships – sit down with your partner and find out each other’s MBIT type. In understanding how he/she tends to perceives things and uses information, you might find out the underlying reasons for the friction that seems to be eating away at your relationship.

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