Or, so says a study undertaken by Northwestern University researchers, which has yet to be formally published. They followed heterosexual speed daters to determine the differences in attraction when women sat and the men changed seats, and then when the men sat and the women changed seats. Their conclusion?

When the women remained stationary and the men moved from speed date to speed date, the guys  are more attracted to their dates than the women were to theirs. As well, the men chose more women to pursue for further dating interactions than they did in any other scenario. But when the roles were reversed and the women moved around, the number each sex wanted to see again was about the same.

So how can you use this dating tip and research to your benefit? Favor speed dating events where the men roam and the women stay seated, or when trying to meet someone new, allow the guys to approach, first.

Check out the full article on dating tips at http://dating.about.com/b/2009/04/08/a-new-law-of-attraction-have-them-come-to-you.htm

Thanks Serene for the copy of CLEO FEB 2010!

I was approached more than a month ago by Serene to match and to find a date for Joanne, a spontaneous and outgoing girl who have been single for a while.

This is the first time The Dating Loft is doing a blind match for CLEO and I was pretty excited by it!

Serene sent me a list of Joanne’s criteria:

Height min 170cm (cos I’m 1.69cm) and well built (not fat) Race: Chinese or mixed races

Like guys who are outgoing, open minded, humorous, well travelled or educated overseas, good looking (who doesn’t!), unpretentious. He can’t be a weakling cos she goes for muay thai. Likes guys who games too as she’s a gamer chick (but not too hardcore)

Bonus points for being an Aussie born Chinese and if he’s able to cook.

I met up with Joanne during lunch hour and did her profiling for her. She was a really attractive girl with a wide grin and definitely very sociable and spontaneous. We had a good chat and I gained some insights on what she might be looking for.

The next challenge is to find someone whom she can have a good date with, AND the guy has to be open about appearing on CLEO, which effectively eliminates about 90% of the single men who are generally camera-shy and very conscious about maintaining their privacy…. I personally think it is an ego thing, men just didn’t want others to know that they want/need help with their dates!

Finally I contacted Garion, a relatively new member of The Dating Loft and I personally called him to introduce myself  and to share Joanne’s profile with him. All went well….until I had to reveal that it is part of CLEO thingy…There was a pause, and I ventured,”I understand you might find this too sudden and awkward, but I promise you I will be there to do the introductions…. and it will be fun! Plus not everyone can get a chance to go on date on Cleo! If you need some time to think about it, can I call you back tomorrow?”

Another pause. And Garion replied, “Can I give you my answer now?”. My heart sank a little, he is probably going to reject me again but he said, “The answer is Yes. I am definitely nervous about this but I think I will give it a try!” Yippes!!!

On the very day of the date, I rushed down to the cafe. In my haste I forgot to bring the phone which Serene (the writer) was supposed to contact me on. I was actually 10 minutes early and noone was there yet. I called Garion as I had received  an earlier sms from him – he is definitely feeling unsure about this. Luckily he was already nearby. I decided to grab him for a quick bite and chat to put him at ease. After all, with food in your tummy and me for company, noone could be nervous for long! =)

We went to MOS burger and started chatting about his work and his frequent business trips to China and his love for night cycling. Time flew and I realised we were nearly 15 minutes late! Ditching my ice milk tea, I grabbed Garion and we flew down to Black Cafe. Apologising profusely for our lateness, I introduced Garion to Joanne while Serene snapped photos of us.

Serene then ushered me to another corner, while Garion and Joanne started chatting. “He’s cute!” gushed Serene as she sat down at the table with me, “Is he a real member?”. I smiled, “Of course he is! He’s quite eligible and really nice  as well….” We went on to dicuss about the local dating scene, and the perception that there is a dearth of good men in Singapore.

Before we finally left the cafe one hour later, Garion and Joanne exchanged contacts and Serene took  more photos. The date went well!  Garion shared that he was at ease, and it turned out much better than he expected. I was really happy when I heard that. Garion:  Thank you so much for agreeing to participate in this! Wish you all the best in your dating journey!

After you make finding love a pirority, and have decided to go expand your social circles to meet more people….and have met some people whom you are keen to know better. How then do you separate the frogs from the prince? Are there things to take note of before you decided to hand your heart over on a platter?

According to Dr Brown, here’s some tips to help you figure out what to look for in a man.

1) What are his relationships like? Take note of how he interacts with his friends, colleagues and family. When you can determine what kind of person he is in other relationships, you should get a pretty good idea of what he will be like if he is in a love relationship with you. You can also look to his past relationships to get a feel of the kind of partner he will be. Did past relationships end amicably? Is he still friends with past partners?

2) How are his manners? is he on time? Whether a person has simple etiquette or not can be telling of his character. Does he talk on his mobile phone when you are in a conversation? How does he treat the wait staff when he is a restaurant with you? Does he treat the wait staff as people or servants? If he make a mistake, does he accept it or does he always push the blame to others?

3) Look for chemistry, not just appearance. If you don’t feel an attraction at the first meeting, don’t give up. Physcial atttraction often increases as two people get to know and trust each other. Give yourself and the other party a chance before you jump ship.

For your reading pleasure – adapted from Finding Love by Dr Brown.

Finding love is one of the best things that can happen in our lives. Many of us search and search for love and have trouble finding that special someone- either we don’t meet the right person – or we think we had met the person only to find out that he or she isn’t what we are looking for.

There are a few things we can do to help cupid get you moving in the right direction. First, you need to clarify the things that are important to you in a partner. By doing so, you will draw yourself towards the person and the relationship that you are looking for.

One of the most important tips is to, first decide what you ARE NOT looking for. What are your “deal-breakers”? What is absolutely essential for you to have in a long term relationship? Do you want to get married and have children? Think about critical issues such as finances, religion and lifestyles. These are your core values and you need to be clear on what you can compromise and what you can’t.

Once you have clarified these basic core values – your deal breakers, you need to trust yourself and stay clear of potential partners who fall outside of these categories. Typically, these are also things you can find out in a few dates. Hoping that your partner will change or telling yourself that “this doesn’t really matters,” will only set yourself up for heartache down the road. Follow what you’ve decided and ultimately it will lead your heart in the right direction. KNOWING YOUR DEAL-BREAKERS IS CRUCIAL AND STICKING TO THEM THE KEY.

Be open to trying new things and be realistic about the outcomes. While it is essential to clarify what you do not want in a relationship, it is also important to keep your mind open about the other qualities that the person can offer, even if these are qualities that you have not been attracted to before. Your deal-breakers should be kept to between 5-7 core values that you will not compromise.

Outside of that, be open minded about stepping out of your comfort zone and date people who may not be exactly what you think you are looking for. As long as they are not deal-breakers, keep your mind and heart open!

Another important tip: Make finding love and dating a priority. Just as a photographer never travels without his or her camera, a person looking looking for love should always be prepared to find love. Knowing what you are looking for and what you want in a relationship and what you do not want) is a good starting point. The next is to to make dating a priority, and that means dedicating  time and resources to it, this can be in the form of consciously expanding your social circle, joining dating events or taking up a new social hobby.

Just caught the long-awaited Twilight sequel – New Moon, last Friday night. And of course I am swooning over it. Not for its oscar-worthy dialogue or script or golden horse-worthy directing or acting, but for the kind of timeless chivalry and romance that only a drop-dead gorgeous (pun intended) vampire can pull off.

Edward is hot beyond anything, even though he’s “the cold one”. He’s hot because he wanted to die when he thought Bella was dead. He’s hot because he obviously loved Bella beyond what she can hoped for or understand. “Do you have any idea what you mean to me at all?” Yes cheesy dialogue and flinch-worthy lines are found in abundance in the movie but that didn’t stop us gals from falling for it hook, bait and all.

My fiance was most gracious to buy the tickets for a Friday night show that he obviously wasn’t going to enjoy much. Obviously this was no Spider Man or Batman for him. For someone who devoured the four Twilight books in a few days after catching the first movie, I  knew exactly what was going on across the big screen as I waited almost impatiently to see my vampire and his love reunited. I almost stamped my feet and grinded my teeth in frustration as I endured the separation and the growing love friendship between Bella and Jacob. But Jacob did have a nice body. Very nice.

After the movie, I updated him about the Voltarre and how each of their followers had gifts and talents such as the ability to read someone thoughts or to cause tremendous pain, and spoilspoiler that I am, I told him about the battle between the Cullens and the Voltarres and how Bella had an immense talent…. He smiled, “The writer’s smart, rehashing some old folklore and myths into a romantic story. And all these vampires with the talents…isn’t it similiar to X-Men or other comics-movie? Then how come you are not interested?”

I rolled my eyes. Isn’t it obvious? “Because they are ugly. And because they are not romantic!”

#1 Tip for Dating Couple: Guys, do take the effort to do something romantic for your partners (before they swoon over Edward Cullen openly)