I am happy to hear that some couples whom we had introduced  at  The Dating Loft, have unofficially toed into the “almost exclusive dating” arena. However, as with the start of most relationship, there are the uncertainties that marked the beginning – Is he or she the right one for me? What if this doesn’t work out? Beth has been “counselling” a few clients these few days on this eternal dilemma – to be or not to be (in the relationship)?

Classic case: Boy meets Girl. Both enjoyed the first date. They started going out on a regular basis, sms-ing each other daily…. After a few weeks, Boy tells Girl he likes her and would like to take the relationship a step further. Girl likes boy but is afraid that it is too soon to go into a relationship, hidden fears of making the wrong choice rears it’s head. Plus, there are other people she is still casually getting to know better….and she can’t make up her mind. Boy stops contact, Girl feels the loss and take the initiative to contact Boy for dinner. Movie is still on, conclusion is yet reached.

From my experience, girls tend to think too much and often has a lot of fears about making the wrong decision. However at the end of the day, listen to your own heart. Yes you had only know him for a few weeks, and you really don’t know him that well. But the only way you can really know someone is to start dating him. Really date him and go out with him, get to know his habits, his lifestyle, his friends, his thinking, his family…. if at the end of the day, you find that both of you are not suitable, then stop it and move on. At least you gave yourself (and him) a chance.

For guys, if you really like her, take the initative to make known your feelings and that you want to take the relationship further. DO not be afraid of scaring her off; most girls secretly admired your courage and your willingness to take the risk for her. Of course don’t go overboard with your declaration, know when to beat a graceful exit if the girl is not keen.

If you feel she is kinda interested but still undecided, give her time and room to make her own decision. If you feel she has plenty of choices and is just enjoying your attention without giving you a commitment, the best thing to do is to let her know you respect her choices, but you cannot wait forever and you will be exploring your options to meet other girls. Don’t let her take you for granted. I know someone who lavishes all his attention (and gifts) and time on a much younger girl for more than 4 years while the girl refuses to enter into a committed relationship with him. And he is still waiting….

If she values you, she will come back to you. It is the same for both sexes – do  not be afraid to lose. In losing, you can  gain your rightful love. Most tend to cling on too tightly because of  the fear of loss. Even if the relationship comes to naught, at the very least you have tried. There is always someone better.

Had some of the best bread and pastry for a long time and I ate most of it before remembering I was supposed to take a photo for the blog! Arrghhh…. The owner, Sophia, is a long time friend – I stayed with her family who took great care of me when I was studying in San Francisco years ago. It was great catching up with her! I have always remembered her as a wonderful cook and baker and the many hours of fun we had in the kitchen and restaurant.

We lost touch after I came back to Singapore, and Sophia and her family eventually did moved back to Singapore a few years ago. Hence it was no surprise that Sophia, after finishing her Le Cordon Bleu Training in Paris, decided to set up a French Patisserie here. Mirabelle (meaning “Great Beauty” in French, as well as the name of a yellow fruit favored by Sophia when she was a student in Paris) threw open it’s door six months ago in a nondescript corner along Mackenzie Road.  

I did some quick search on the Internet, and found that her croissants were touted to be the best in Singapore by many a food blogger including Chubby Hubby at www.chubbyhubby.net. And Mirabelle was also featured on 8 Days and Simply Her as a little haven of Paris right in the midst of Singapore.

Even Beth, who don’t like sweet things, wolfed down the whole Sweet Potato Bun after taking her first bite when she was supposed to share with me. Luckily I have got Sophia’s mobile and I’m going to order her croissants (and that charcoal custard bun which I wolfed down in a minute) before I dropped by again….mnm….will tomorrow be too soon?

Tip for Couples: Buy some pastries or try the famed croissants to sweeten the hearts of your loved ones!

For the past few days, the girls at The Dating Loft have been stuffing ourselves silly with the goodies we have been receiving from members! On Monday, we received chocolate biscuits from a really sweet member who went to Japan for Holiday and remembered us!

On Tuesday, a really cute member brought us almond cookies and some really yummy almond pastry from Hong Kong! It was almost totally wiped out. And yesterday, we received a BIG hamper of goodies from a member who dedicated it to Sharon! We didn’t care if it’s addressed to her, we just happily dissembled the whole package and devour the goodies. My favourite is the Almond Roca!

Thank you all for the yummy goodies. We truly appreciate it! One Great Dating Tip to be learnt: Bringing a little gift (chocolate or flowers) will brighten up your date’s day and warmed him/her to you!

A simple summary of the little tips on things to look out for during your first date!

Have a First Date Backup Plan
No matter how many time you confirm plans, or how solid you think something is, anything can happen on a first date. Maybe one of you runs into an ex, or the show you’d planned to attend was canceled. No matter what plans the two of you have created for your first date, make sure to have a backup plan, just in case.

Plan a Short First Date
No matter how well you think you’ll get along, a first date can change everything. Why be stuck on an all-day wine tour with someone if you aren’t feeling the sparks? Try keeping your first date to no more than one or two hours. Then, if things are going really well, you can always extend the date longer, later.

Don’t Be Late To a First Date
There is nothing worse than sitting waiting for a first date to show up, not knowing whether they’ve stood you up or are merely running a bit behind. So save everyone the extra stress – since first dates are stressful enough – and make a point of being there on time.

Agree on First Date Attire
This first date tip could be as simple as ensuring both of you are on the same page clothing-wise so that no one shows up inappropriately dressed for the occasion, to letting each other know about one piece of unusual clothing that will make you stick out in a crowd – because having to ask several people if they are your date isn’t at all fun.

Offer Appropriate First Date Compliments
If the person you’re on a first date with has something about them that appeals to you, don’t hesitate in saying so. But anything more than a compliment or two will make you sound desperate, and that’s not the kind of first impression you’re looking for. As well, be sincere, honest and flattering, but try to keep the first date compliments to things you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable about if your mother overheard them.

Drink Responsibly on a First Date
Several dating disasters shared by other single readers have focused on overflowing alcohol as the main source of conflict during a first date. So to avoid these kinds of issues, keep your intake to a minimum if you do oblige.
Spend Equal Amounts of Time Talking and Listening on a First Date
Ever been on a date with someone who didn’t know how to listen? How about a person who had nothing to say for themselves? Either situation can spell first date disaster. For more shy folks, prepare yourself with some conversation starters, while those who are a bit more outgoing are responsible for making sure they aren’t the only one talking.

Groom Yourself for a First Date
It should go without saying, but unfortunately many singles still complain about first date grooming mistakes, such as meeting someone with food stuck in their teeth, bad body odor, or clothing that is way too revealing for a first date.

For the full article on dating tips, go to http://dating.about.com/od/firstdates/tp/firstdate.-0Uo.htm

Or, so says a study undertaken by Northwestern University researchers, which has yet to be formally published. They followed heterosexual speed daters to determine the differences in attraction when women sat and the men changed seats, and then when the men sat and the women changed seats. Their conclusion?

When the women remained stationary and the men moved from speed date to speed date, the guys  are more attracted to their dates than the women were to theirs. As well, the men chose more women to pursue for further dating interactions than they did in any other scenario. But when the roles were reversed and the women moved around, the number each sex wanted to see again was about the same.

So how can you use this dating tip and research to your benefit? Favor speed dating events where the men roam and the women stay seated, or when trying to meet someone new, allow the guys to approach, first.

Check out the full article on dating tips at http://dating.about.com/b/2009/04/08/a-new-law-of-attraction-have-them-come-to-you.htm