Ada Muses

Co-Founder Of The Dating Loft, Ada muses on dating, match-making and love….

Great News at The Dating Loft: Another Couple got hitched!

December9

Beth & I with the happy couple!
Just attended another wedding where we had played a positive role in! Very happy to see them married after a year and a half together! Had a great lunch at Megu Hall, Singapore Flyer where they held their wedding.

The sight of them walking hand in arm together in their wedding garb brings back memories….
Every couple will have their differences and difficulties. I am glad they have decided to focus on bridging differences and overcoming obstacles to build a lifetime together.

It is well known that KP is a model husband. The guys like to joke that he “spoilt the market”! He would go back home each night to to pick Pristine up from her workplace (or wherever she is), and drove her back. She lived in the west while he lived in the east.  And he had been doing this everyday since they started dating…. The girls are really envious! =P

Whatever it is, I am glad they have made it to the red aisle, but there is a long journey ahead…. Jia you!
Tip: Reaffirm your commitment to each other through regular and consistent expressions of love. COntinue to date each other even after marriage!
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Insights On mate selection and evolution biology – any tips for us humans?

November16

Just read an article on Evolutionary Biology and the selection of mates and how beautiful parents tend to produce daughters while tall and rugged parents tend to produce sons. Found a website www.alphadominance.com which has many interesting articleson the subjects of evolutionary attraction, mating….

“Beauty is highly prized by humans as prospective traits in potential mates. Despite many unctuous diatribes by those who would have us see more than skin deep, people continue to sort themselves for procreative purposes in accordance with their attractiveness, both physical and material. Because beautiful people have more children, and in the game of life, passing one’s genes on to more children is winning. The effect is compounded if those children themselves have greater reproductive fitness due to greater attractiveness. Thus, we all seek the most attractive partner we can muster in assortive mating and the singles scene acts as a marketplace to match the highest payer with the highest priced commodity….

….another problem is that we prefer beautiful people as mates because they are better mates, both in quality and for the most part in quantity. Finally, we tend to view beautiful people as superior in other ways like intelligence, honesty and competence. Sound unfair? Well like most stereotypes they are based in fact. We see beautiful people as smarter because on the whole, they are.

These views are heresy to social scientists, psychologists and feminists, but they are grounded in fact. Once again biology is shown to be heartless and unfeeling. As the old saying goes Nature is red in tooth and claw, and I would add, short on feel-good egalitarian dogma. Whether we like this fact or not we all must learn to live with it. We should not sell ourselves short in some futile attempt to correct natural law. When selecting our mates and partners we should be armed with full knowledge of the facts, and the knowledge that our instincts will guide us to the best reproductive matches there are. Don’t waste your time trying to correct a system that has worked so well for so long. Fairness does not promote genetic and reproductive success. It may be useful for social policy but dating is not an equal opportunity marketplace.”

Indeed, it’s not an equal opportunity marketplace. Like the jungle, there are rules of survival and the ones who abided and played by the rules will survive and thrive.
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Tip for Life: Living your dream – GO Dannie & Yilin!

November8

 st-life-article

Two friends quitted their respective very respectable jobs and decide to go backpacking across the Americas last March. It has been 8 months since they left this sunny shore and move on to even sunnier shores.When I first heard about it, I was so envious of them! “Wah! So Lucky!” was the thought that popped into my head. But they weren’t just “lucky” people who ‘managed’ to go on a year long vacation. They were determined people who made a commitment to pursue their dreams, and had the perseverance to GO for it and have fun doing it! I mean, most if not all of us could be doing it, but how many of us can REALLY do it? Honestly, even for a self-professed travel  lover like me who had backpacked in Europe and have lived overseas for a while, shudders at the thought of this (all the planning, the ekking out at foreign lands, the physcial and mental demands..etc..) even while my heart thumps with excitement at this adventure of a lifetime.  

They were supposed to be back in a year’s time but all that traipsing across continents witha lot of unexpected expenses have eaten into their travel budget and they may have to cut short their trip. Of course instead of quietly resigning to their fates, Dannie and Yilin have come up with a great idea!  They have compiled a series of their travel photographs into a beautiful calender to raise funds. Read all about their adventures and mishaps at http://danyilin.blogspot.com/. Truly, they embodies the spirit of living. I really hope they can continue the rest of their journey and bring their sense of fun and adventure to us through their photos and blog postings!

If you admired their spirit and have enjoyed their photos and blog posts, do show your support for fun and adventure by purchasing their calenders at $40 each (including shipping to Singapore). Christmas is coming. http://danyilin.blogspot.com/2009/10/2010-limited-edition-go-calendars.html
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Life’s Tips: Life’s a Ship Voyage….

October29

Someone once told me that that our life journey is like being on a ship voyage crossing vast oceans and landing at different ports in all parts of the world. We will meet different people as we embark on the journey; some will stay with us for a part of the journey teaching us certain things about ourselves or about life, their words and deeds lingering in our hearts long after they disembarked. There will be people who have caused us heartache and grief; but we must always remember that none of all this – grief, pain, anger, helplessness, guilt or fear is permanent unless we allow it to be.

If we allowed ourselves to sail through life like being on a ship voyage – smile appreciatingly at the breathtaking sunrises and sunsets, enjoy the sensation of the sea breeze fluttering through your hair, dance freely on the deck, and greet every traveller you met with a genuine smile and a cheery ‘adios’!

There will be friendships built, laughter aplenty, relationships nutured, love given. At certain ports, people will come and go. You might even disembark and get on another ship heading for another part of the wrold. Mourn not for the loss of the companionships, rejoice instead at the love that you have shared. Let there be tears of appreciation as you bid your farewells, and say to yourself, “Such is Life!”.

Life Tips: Let there be No Regrets!
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Mathematical Proof of What I wrote on dating in Singapore?

October26

Received a hilarious email from a  friend of mine who read my previous post  “Ask for the Sky, Be the Cloud first”. Being the cool, rational INTJ he is, he decided to see if what I wrote makes sense…. Here is what he emailed me:

As you know, a cold and emotionless man of hard science like me who is devoid of feelings would only be convinced by numbers… So I pulled out the recent Singapore census and some related data.. did some crunching and came up with a shocking figure (assuming my numbers didn’t mess up)…

Assuming that I target a single Chinese female who falls betweeen 25 – 34 who are in broad selected religious groups and have a degree, I am down to only about 26,000 ladies. This is not even counting those who may be attached. So the real number that I could be looking at may be 10,000?? And of which maybe less than half will think I don’t act funny or think I look ugly???

 

For the fun of it, I thought I share the excel file and the data with you.

 

So there u have it, statistical proof that I need to be a Cloud first before I can ask for the Sky… It’s crazy but TRUE!”

Singapore (June 2009) (in ’000)  
Total Population 4,988  
Total Resident Population 3,734  
       
Sex Composition of Residents  
Males   1,845 49.4%
Females   1,889 50.6%
       
Age Profile      
  25-34 572 15.3%
  35-44 630 16.9%
  45-54 620 16.6%
       
Ethnic Composition (Residents)  
Chinese     74.20%
Malays     13.40%
Indians     9.20%

Chinese Females who are 25 – 34 5.75%   214.5

Single      
       
Males      
25-29     75%
30-34     35%
35-39     19%

Females      
25-29     52%
30-34     23%
35-39     15%

Single Chinese Females who are 25 – 34 4.3%   160.9

Religion      
Buddhism     42.5%
Islam     14.9%
No Religion   14.8%
Christianity   14.6%
Taoism     8.5%
Hinduism     4.0%
Others     0.6%

Buddhism+No Religion+Christian+Taoism 80%

Single Chinese Females who are 25 – 34 (in religion bracket) 3.5%   129.4

Height Requirement   100%
Handsome or Pretty   100%
Monthly Income Requirement 100%
Chemistry/Connection with you 100%
Finally, how many of such Singles are unattached 100%

Total Number that fit your above criteria:  25874

I did the stats study for the fun of it lah. It was also to provide mathematical proof of what you wrote. So yes, I joke that I should target blondes and Mainland Chinese now (larger population base to begin with!).. but the findings reinforces the moral of the story that local singles should not be too choosy. Whilst I joke about it, I did share the findings with my attached friends… telling them how lucky they are to be attached to such an eligible guy or gal… :) ” – reproduced with permission.

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