Am really happy when a 38-year old female member got together with a 34-year old male member recently….Both are really nice people and have been single for the longest time. Such news really warmed our hearts and motivate us at The Dating Loft to work even harder for our members! Because it is really not easy matching people, especially people of a certain age.
Truth is, when women reached a certain age (say above 35), the chances of them getting a partner lowers dramatically. Most of the couples we have successfully matched are in their mid 20s to mid 30s, with a majority concentration in late 20s group. It is not just that the female’s fertility rate drops by half when we reach 35 as compared to 30, or that our wrinkles (or other physical signs of aging) are more prounouced that makes it harder for us to match them. But it is the whole attitude and mentality towards dating and the expectations one have of your partner that widens the chasm between the success rate for the under 35s and above 35s.
At The Dating Loft, personally I have seen and interviewed many successful career women in their 30s, who have set certain unrealistic expectations for their potential dates. Some members in their mid 30s sometimes emailed us with their criteria, with the list growing longer each time of what kind of man we should be setting them up with. With criteria ranging from “Only MD level and above”, “Good complexion with no pockmarked face or pimple scars” and “Above a certain height and not more than a certain height” and earns “200k and above”, and these are ONLY brought up after we have done their profiles (with far more realistic expectations) and accepted them as members.
Another refuses to go on a date with a man who falls a few cm short of her ideal height, even though he fulfills a majority of her other criteria in religion and education and income level. And we are talking about a first date, and a first date is, I have always thought, is a FIRST TRY – a face-to-face meet up for both to assess the level of communication and interest in each other. By tightly adhering to whatever ideals you have in your mind, you have successfully eliminated 90% of the eligible men that you might possibly enjoyed dinner and conversation with.
Don’t me wrong, I am not saying you should “lower your standards” – which is what many women brought up. Yeah, you would rather remain single than just marrying anyone. But this is not about marrying just anyone. We are not asking you to marry any Tom, Dick or Harry, only to open your heart and mind and ask yourself: “Does a few cm difference in height makes for a huge fundamental difference in determining a man’s character and worth?” In cold practical terms, in asking for that MD or Director with certain earning power, looks and height, do you possess what it takes to “exchange” with your youth, beauty, talent and virtue?