I love reading. I wish that I read more than what I am doing now and I most certainty will choose reading as my all-time fvourite activity. I have my youngest aunt to thank for cultivating my love for the books. She was an avid reader and it was she who introduced the world of Humpty-Dumpty to me in a colorful picturebook at a wee age. My fondest childhood memories includes trips to Popular bookstore to pick up my favourite storybooks. Toys I had little, but books….I always had.  

It was not long beofore I had my nose stuck in a book much of the time, especially when I started primary school. I discovered the school library and the library card. I read voraciously, with a particular penchance for fiction and folklore. I was entralled by Enid Blyton’s magical world of elves and fairies and all things wonderful. I fancied myself an armchair sleuth as I followed Nancy Drew’s adventures as she solved crime after crime, and enjoyed Ronald Dahl’s madcap world with Mathilda and Witches. I was in a world created out of printed words, which translated into magic, adventure and fun! Yes it was fun!

Writing book reviews of books which I had read was my favourite ‘homework’. I was nicknamed ‘Bookworm’ by my friends, along with ‘Blur Queen’ as I was sometimes oblivous to things as I had my nose in a book much of the time. I requested for storybooks for prizes, for birthdays, for christmases…. My mum’s naggings on putting down the book became a daily affair and I cultivated a great skill of ‘parallel survival’ – I could read when I walked, I could read when I ate, I could even read when I watched TV and I absolutely loved reading in bathrooms!

 Thus, the reason why ‘Room to Read’ appeals to me. My childhood will be a much duller time if I had not the company of my books. They are helping the kids from poor families in under-developed countries to get access to education so as to help build a better future for the next generation. They have built schools and libraries and is doing their part to cultivate the love of learning and reading. For more information, do check out www.roomtoread.com.

Two friends quitted their respective very respectable jobs and decide to go backpacking across the Americas last March. It has been 8 months since they left this sunny shore and move on to even sunnier shores.When I first heard about it, I was so envious of them! “Wah! So Lucky!” was the thought that popped into my head. But they weren’t just “lucky” people who ‘managed’ to go on a year long vacation. They were determined people who made a commitment to pursue their dreams, and had the perseverance to GO for it and have fun doing it! I mean, most if not all of us could be doing it, but how many of us can REALLY do it? Honestly, even for a self-professed travel  lover like me who had backpacked in Europe and have lived overseas for a while, shudders at the thought of this (all the planning, the ekking out at foreign lands, the physcial and mental demands..etc..) even while my heart thumps with excitement at this adventure of a lifetime.  

They were supposed to be back in a year’s time but all that traipsing across continents witha lot of unexpected expenses have eaten into their travel budget and they may have to cut short their trip. Of course instead of quietly resigning to their fates, Dannie and Yilin have come up with a great idea!  They have compiled a series of their travel photographs into a beautiful calender to raise funds. Read all about their adventures and mishaps at http://danyilin.blogspot.com/. Truly, they embodies the spirit of living. I really hope they can continue the rest of their journey and bring their sense of fun and adventure to us through their photos and blog postings!

If you admired their spirit and have enjoyed their photos and blog posts, do show your support for fun and adventure by purchasing their calenders at $40 each (including shipping to Singapore). Christmas is coming. http://danyilin.blogspot.com/2009/10/2010-limited-edition-go-calendars.html

I received this result when I tried the free online assessment at http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jTypes2.asp

Like the other Idealists, Champions are rather rare, say two or three percent of the population, but even more than the others they consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life. Champions have a wide range and variety of emotions, and a great passion for novelty. They see life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil, and they want to experience all the meaningful events and fascinating people in the world. The most outgoing of the Idealists, Champions often can’t wait to tell others of their extraordinary experiences. Champions can be tireless in talking with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out. And usually this is not simple storytelling; Champions often speak (or write) in the hope of revealing some truth about human experience, or of motivating others with their powerful convictions. Their strong drive to speak out on issues and events, along with their boundless enthusiasm and natural talent with language, makes them the most vivacious and inspiring of all the types.

Fiercely individualistic, Champions strive toward a kind of personal authenticity, and this intention always to be themselves is usually quite attractive to others. At the same time, Champions have outstanding intuitive powers and can tell what is going on inside of others, reading hidden emotions and giving special significance to words or actions. In fact, Champions are constantly scanning the social environment, and no intriguing character or silent motive is likely to escape their attention. Far more than the other Idealists, Champions are keen and probing observers of the people around them, and are capable of intense concentration on another individual. Their attention is rarely passive or casual. On the contrary, Champions tend to be extra sensitive and alert, always ready for emergencies, always on the lookout for what’s possible.

Champions are good with people and usually have a wide range of personal relationships. They are warm and full of energy with their friends. They are likable and at ease with colleagues, and handle their employees or students with great skill. They are good in public and on the telephone, and are so spontaneous and dramatic that others love to be in their company. Champions are positive, exuberant people, and often their confidence in the goodness of life and of human nature makes good things happen.

This does sounds like me =P This MBIT test is not about pigeon-hole-ing people, only suggesting a person’s disposition towards a certain way of processing/receiving information and knowledge and the way we prefer to do things…

#Tip: This has major implications for relationships – sit down with your partner and find out each other’s MBIT type. In understanding how he/she tends to perceives things and uses information, you might find out the underlying reasons for the friction that seems to be eating away at your relationship.

If women have a tickling biological clock waiting to implode, then men seems to have an in-built antenna that zones in to numbers when it comes to selecting their dates - they love numbers that starts with 2, hesitant with numbers that opens with 3 and resist numbers that begins with 4.

One may argue that it is all biological. Men look for healthy mates to propagate healthy offsprings and youth is a major indicator of health and thus, fertility. I am told I am considered an ‘old maid’  in China, where most girls married in their early to mid 20s, and my value as a spouse has diminished considerably because of my ‘reduced capacity’ to bear offsprings! In my heart, I think I would rather be mature enough to know what I want in my spouse and have the commitment to carry through the ups and downs of marriage, than marry for the sake of marrying. After all, China’s divorce rates are climbing furiously and young people seems to think nothing of marrying and then divorcing in a year or two.

We as a society on the whole, have fixated ideas on how old our partners should be, how tall our spouses should reach and how much money they should be making. It’s only a number and dating is also a numbers game. The number of singles in Singapore is climbing, partly because of all these fixated ideas on our ideal spouses. Men in their 40s only wants to meet women in their early 30s or even younger, but women in this age group prefers younger men. Women in their late 30s wants to meet men in their late 30s and older but such men does not want to meet them!

Is it any wonder that the number or singles continue to rise?  What good does it do us when we have all these fixated and pre-determined criteria when we continue to be single and dateless?

Am really happy when a 38-year old female member got together with a 34-year old male member recently….Both are really nice people and have been single for the longest time. Such news really warmed our hearts and motivate us at The Dating Loft to work even harder for our members! Because it is really not easy matching people, especially people of a certain age.

Truth is, when women reached a certain age (say above 35), the chances of them getting a partner lowers dramatically. Most of the couples we have successfully matched are in their mid 20s to mid 30s, with a majority concentration in late 20s group. It is not just that the female’s fertility rate drops by half when we reach 35 as compared to 30, or that our wrinkles (or other physical signs of aging) are more prounouced that makes it harder for us to match them. But it is the whole attitude and mentality towards dating and the expectations one have of your partner that widens the chasm between the success rate for the under 35s and above 35s.

At The Dating Loft, personally I have seen and interviewed many successful career women in their 30s, who have set certain unrealistic expectations for their potential dates. Some members in their mid 30s sometimes emailed us with their criteria, with the list growing longer each time of what kind of man we should be setting them up with. With criteria ranging from “Only MD level and above”, “Good complexion with no pockmarked face or pimple scars” and “Above a certain height and not more than a certain height” and earns “200k and above”, and these are ONLY brought up after we have done their profiles (with far more realistic expectations) and accepted them as members.

Another refuses to go on a date with a man who falls a few cm short of her ideal height, even though he fulfills a majority of her other criteria in religion and education and income level. And we are talking about a first date, and a first date is, I have always thought, is a FIRST TRY – a face-to-face meet up for both to assess the level of communication and interest in each other. By tightly adhering to whatever ideals you have in your mind, you have successfully eliminated 90% of the eligible men that you might possibly enjoyed dinner and conversation with.

Don’t me wrong, I am not saying you should “lower your standards” – which is what many women brought up. Yeah, you would rather remain single than just marrying anyone. But this is not about marrying just anyone. We are not asking you to marry any Tom, Dick or Harry, only to open your heart and mind and ask yourself: “Does a few cm difference in height makes for a huge fundamental difference in determining a man’s character and worth?” In cold practical terms, in asking for that MD or Director with certain earning power, looks and height, do you possess what it takes to “exchange” with your youth, beauty, talent and virtue?