What attracts a man to his future wife? Sociologists Christine B. Whelan at the University of Pittsburgh and Christie F. Boxer at the University of Iowa, have finally answered the oft-debated question. They analyzed the results of a 2008 survey asking men to rank attractive qualities of a potential spouse. They then compared those results to women’s answers and to similar surveys conducted throughout the 1900s. A lot has changed in just a few decades.
No. 1: Mutual Attraction and Love
Above all, men want to marry a woman they love and are attracted to. While this may seem like a given, the “love marriage” is a modern development. Men started ranking this trait at No. 1 just a couple of decades ago, in the mid-1980s. Earlier in the 20th century, dependability, emotional maturity and a pleasing disposition ranked higher than love. Now, both men and women are marrying for love first and foremost, and marriages have become unions of passion, friendship, support and mutual attraction.
No. 2: Dependable Character
Throughout the 20th century a woman’s dependable character has been a top priority for men, who ranked it at No. 1 as far back as 1939. Like women, men want a life partner who will be trustworthy, faithful and reliable. They want a wife who will stand by their side and, considering divorce rates, it’s no surprise that dependability would continue to be attractive.
No. 3: Emotional Stability and Maturity
Both men and women consistently cite emotional stability and maturity as one of the most attractive traits in a potential spouse. While men often fall victim to the stereotype of prioritizing physical attraction, when it comes to a potential wife, they want a woman who is grounded and secure in herself. Women also place maturity at No. 3 on their lists of good-husband material.
No. 4: Education and Intelligence
A woman’s education and intelligence are more attractive to men than ever before. This characteristic has been steadily climbing the ranks of men’s desires for decades, up from No. 11 in 1939. Now that women are receiving 60% of college degrees and are half of the workforce, men are looking for women who are both intelligent and educated–or in other words, more accomplished and interesting than ever.
No 5: Pleasing Disposition
Men place a potential wife’s pleasing disposition at No. 5 and have included it in their top-five traits since the 1930s. On the other hand, women in recent years are less likely to prioritize a man’s pleasing disposition. Until recently, women consistently ranked it at No. 4, but it currently appears as No. 7.
No. 6: Sociability
Both men and women rank sociability at No. 6 on their lists of mate preferences. And for both sexes, it has been steadily moving up the list from around No. 12 in 1939. Because today’s married couples are more likely to be friends and have mutual circles of friends, it makes sense that this has become a more attractive characteristic.
No. 7: Good Health
Men look for good health in a potential wife, but it is slightly less important to them today than it was in the past. In the 1930s and again in the 1970s, they ranked a woman’s health at No. 5. They are smart to rank it fairly high on their marriage-material list. Both sexes are living well into their 70s, and often older, making good health a predictor of a long-lasting.
No. 8: Good Looks
Women’s looks have become increasingly important to men over the years. The trait has jumped up seven spots, from No. 15 in 1956. (Looks did not make the top 10 list of what women want in a husband, but it has become more important to them over time too–jumping from No. 18 to No. 12). Perhaps because modern marriages are more likely based on love and attraction rather than practicalities (like wealth or status), physical attractiveness is more desirable.
No. 9: Desire for Home and Children
A woman’s desire for home and children has become less attractive to men over time. In 1939, men ranked it at No. 6. As women have increasingly achieved similar levels of education and career status, men may have begun to perceive them as more equal partners. How to divide the labor of home and work isn’t as obvious as it was to their grandparents’ generation.
No. 10: Ambition and Industriousness
Despite the pervasive stereotype that men are intimidated by ambitious women, men rank this trait ahead of others like refinement, being a good cook and having similar religious backgrounds. While it’s not high on their list (No. 10 out of 18), it is clear that men find a woman’s drive, determination and energy attractive qualities in a life partner.
Full article at: http://www.forbes.com/2010/05/26/what-men-want-in-a-wife-forbes-woman-well-being-marriage_slide.html
What strikes me is the amount of SIMILARITY among the sexes, on what we are all looking for in our future partners…. The top 3 important qualities for BOTH men women are the SAME, namely:
*Mutual Attraction and Love
*Dependable Character
*Emotional Stability and Maturity
Thus, Be the Right One to Attract the Right One. Being The Right Person (having the right character and values) = Being The Right Husband/Wife = Being The Right Parent and having The Right Kids.
